Oh, morning sickness

It found me at 5 weeks, 6 days. The first day, Thursday, I threw up in the morning brushing my teeth. I think that's the worst. You brush your teeth to get your mouth clean and fresh, and throwing up completely destroys that. Then you're afraid to brush your teeth because it might happen again...ugh. I felt fine after that until about noon. After noon the rest of the day was downhill, and I didn't get my nap that day either. i was a nauseas, tired, grouch by bedtime. Yesterday, Friday, I felt pretty good. Again, around noon, I started to go south, but after a two hour nap I was well enough to go to a book club meeting and stay longer than planned. I was the first to cut out, though, because I was about to pass out. Then today I woke up feeling awful, but the house needs to be cleaned and the weather is VERY mild so we need to go to the park. Being pregnant when you already have a kid is much harder, I've decided. It's not like I can veg in bed because I don't feel well, or pass out whenever I want because I'm tired. I just get to suck it up. Oh well...it's worth every second. ;)

5 weeks, 3 days

I had some spotting starting last Thursday (4 weeks, 6 days). It wasn't much, there was just some orange-red colored streaking in my CM a couple of times when I went to the bathroom. Of course since I've had a miscarriage, it freaked me out a little bit. I've also had a lot of cramping, which I know is normal, but I've had some sharper cramps on the right side. My first pregnancy, the miscarriage, was a suspected ectopic. At 6 weeks, 3 days my hCG was in the low 300s and there was nothing in my uterus. Because of that, I went ahead and called yesterday.

This hospital has a reputation for NOT being good about humoring pregnant women and their fears. I guess when you mention "ectopic", though, they change their tune. They got me in that day with Dr. Elliot (I LOVE her...I think I may request her for my doctor!), and she ran bloodwork for me. My hCG was over 9000, absolutely perfect, so she gave me a quick exam and an ultrasound. I have some irritation which she thinks is probably causing the spotting, and the ultrasound revealed a 5 weeks, 4 days sac and yolk sac in my uterus. Yay! I had some fluid on the right side, so she thinks I probably had a cyst burst which caused the pain. She couldn't find my right ovary, which is something that has happened to me several times...it hides behind my uterus. I've had someone actually ask me if I have both ovaries.

I will go back next Wednesday at 6 weeks, 5 days to make ABSOLUTELY sure I only have the one baby in the right spot, we don't want anybody to be hiding in a tube (only a 1/30000 chance of that, but it does happen), and also to see my beanies heart beat. I can't wait. :)

Oh, she took pictures of the ultrasound and I totally forgot to ask for them, I was just so happy when she told me everything looked perfect. I'm hoping she stuck them in my file...I would LOVE to have them. :)

Spotting

Had a little bit of spotting last night. Showed up as orange tinted CM when I wiped (sorry for TMI!) and so I did an internal check and it was pink with red streaks. It only happened once, and hasn't happened again since about 6pm last night (it's now 8am). I was pretty upset and crying at the time, but I think it's fine and normal first trimester stuff. I had one instance of spotting with Ian, too, so I'm sure it's okay. I was going to call the hospital today, but I don't know what I expect them to do. I am only 5 weeks today, so not much would show in an ultrasound. I would rather wait another week or so so that I'd have a chance at seeing the heartbeat...today we might only see a sac. So I'm taking it easy today and enjoying games, crafts, and TV with the kid. It's a bit of a bummer because I had a lunch date with some friends, but I'll feel better if I just veg for the day.

Ugh...I need new pregnancy books

The last time I found out I was pregnant was almost five years ago. I was 21 and I seriously didn't know much about birth or pregnancy. I bought the "right" pregnancy books--What to Expect and Your Pregnancy Week by Week. I was flipping through "Your Pregnancy" today. I was enjoying it at first--I love the illustrations of what the baby looks like each week, what it's doing developmentally, what my body is doing, etc. But then I started to read things about natural birth. "Natural birth" is put in quotations...automatically made me realize it was going to be an anti-natural birth passage. It said to beware of homebirths--there is twice as high of an infant mortality rate. Didn't mention which study they got that info from, though...last I checked, the mortality rate was actually LOWER than births in the hospital. Also said to "beware" of birthing instructors who teach that nobody needs a c-section. Do I think that "nobody" needs a c-section? No, of course not. Do I believe that nearly a third of delivering mothers need one? Again, of course not!

Then I of course noticed that the book is written by an OB and M.S...I have no idea what a M.S. is! I try and google it and I get Multiple Sclerosis and find out that the author has a master's in consumer and family studies. Wha??? Plus, the book was originally written in 1989. Sure, it's undergone some revisions, but it seems some of the 1989 mentality has stubbornly remained anyway.

I don't plan on a homebirth. I don't know that it's even an option living on base. I would like my next birth to be quite a bit more natural than my first. I don't want to be hooked up to twenty censors and machines, I don't want synthetic chemicals to be pumped into my body at such concentrations that I have non-stop contractions, if I need to use the bathroom I want to get up and go to it, not have a bed-pan brought to me like I'm an invalid.

I've grown and learned a bit in the last 5 years...guess it's time my pregnancy library reflects that.

18dpo

I'm out of tests now. Time to stop peeing and start relaxing (riiiiiight....).

16dpo test

Think I'm about done testing now. I don't believe it can get much darker than that, but of course if I don't see progression the next time I test it will make me worry...even if there isn't much progressing that can happen. I'm waiting for my call back for my first appointment. They didn't have any appointments open when I called on Thursday so they said they'd have to call me back. I figure if I don't hear by Wednesday I will call again...a week is more than enough time. Hoping I can figure out how to relax and think positive thoughts--this pregnancy is going to go perfectly and I am going to have a beautiful baby at the end of it!

On the agenda for today:

Deep cleaning! If this pregnancy is anything like the one with Ian, in about a week every smell is going to make me nauseas. Trying to rid the house of any potential smells NOW while I can (just because I can't smell them doesn't mean they're not there!!) so that in a week I can bask in freshness and non-nauseatedness.

Also having my blood test today...eek!!

Took two more tests today (will post later), and they're both darker than yesterday--yay! Trying to stop peeing on things for a couple of days. Wish me luck.

Getting darker

Feeling a little better today.

10dpo:


9-10dpo (9dpo say 8dpo because my ovulation date hadn't changed yet--I agree with where it is now):

Can't think of a title today...

How silly and lame is that? I am completely brain dead. I have been up since 5am after a night of poor sleep, so I guess I can be forgiven, right?

My crosshairs got moved today so it looks like I was actually 9dpo yesterday rather than 8. I'm happy with that--I'm a day further along than I thought and BFPs at 9dpo is nothing to be upset over!

I don't want to have my blood drawn until I'm SURE they will call me with news to make me smile. I had planned to wait until Friday, but I think I'll bump it up to Thursday since I'm a day further than I thought. Plus, this way I hopefully won't have to wait over the weekend to get my results.

I'm going to get more tests this morning once Ian wakes up. I'm going to take one a day over the next few days to make sure my lines are getting darker. They were so light yesterday that it's a little nerve-wracking, but I know light lines are to be expected that early.

I am so in denial right now. This doesn't seem real.

Well...

I'm pregnant.






If you're a reader---PLEASE don't say anything outside of this blog. We won't be announcing to family until we hear the heartbeat. I am reeeeally early...like just over 3 weeks early.

8 DPO

I'm feeling really hopeful. I shouldn't be allowing myself to feel hopeful, but I can't seem to help it. I'm hopeful. The shift in my temperatures is the most obvious it has been in TWO YEARS. I ovulated on day 17--completely out of the realm of "normal" for me. Our timing couldn't have been any better. So...I'm hopeful.

I took a OPK on 5dpo because I'm obsessed with peeing on things and I had a couple left. I got a fairly dark line. So yesterday, 7dpo, I went ahead and peed on another one--another fairly dark line, slightly darker than the one on 5dpo. Progressing OPKs in the TWW can be a good thing, though I'm doing it way too early and probably looking too much into it.

Here are the OPKs--the top is 5dpo and the bottom is 7dpo. It's hard to see a difference in the picture, and the difference was more obvious when they were wet, but 7dpo is slightly darker (and I'm now out of OPKs, so this "experiment" has come to an end):



And here is yesterday's HPT that I took like a crazy person. Yes, it's negative:



So, my "symptoms". These are not things I've been looking for, but they've been unmistakable when they've happened. At 3dpo, I had very sharp and low cramping/pains off and on all day. It alternated from side to side, mostly on the right, but switching to the left enough to make me stop freaking out about an ectopic (my miscarriage was ruled a possible ectopic, so I get a little paranoid about them now). They were very low in my pelvis, like almost touching the tops of my legs is how low these pains were. They were also very sharp, taking my breath away a couple of times. They continued through part of 4dpo, then stopped and were replaced by some dull menstrual-like cramping. Nothing too uncomfortable, though, and the cramping is very minimal now.

The other just started today. This is TMI, but my boobs are pretty sore only around my nipples. I can't even explain the way it feels, though. It's like it's near the surface, but it also feels deeper at the same time. They don't hurt if I poke at them or anything, it's just like an internal pain. It's not something I remember feeling before. I'm hoping that new is good.

So, that's it. Hoping to hold out on testing for a few more days, but I know myself too well to think I'll actually do it. ;)

Very excited

My temp has been way up the last two days, which is so exciting. The shift on my chart is very obvious. Looking back over the last year or so, my shifts were pretty weak, if I even had one at all. I recently read something that said, while not guaranteed in any way, a nice rise after ovulation can be a good sign. If nothing else, it means I had a happy, healthy egg, and that's all I can really hope for, right? I will temp tomorrow morning and then the thermometer is going away for the rest of my cycle. I read too much into temps during the TWW and I am reeeeeeally trying to not stress myself out this time. My saliva scope has already been put on a break. I had no ferning yesterday and that's all I need to know.

On Saturday one of our pastors is coming to our small group to lay hands on those of us who are wishing to become pregnant. I am so excited to get just a little bit of an extra boost in the prayer department. Can't hurt. ;)

Ovulating!

Today is CD 17, and I'm 90% sure I either o'd late into the night yesterday/this morning or I will today (temp wasn't where it should be if I had o'd yesterday). I had a blazingly positive OPK on Friday CD 15 (shock of all shocks, I can't even tell you!):


and then two maaaaaaybe positive OPKs yesterday (top is 5:30pm, bottom is 8:30pm):


I generally have two positives, and o the day of the second. I was a little worried that yesterday would be o day because we bd'd on Friday, but my CM and CP weren't quite where I wanted them and, since we were on vacation, I didn't have my Preseed. As it was, the OPKs were brought as kind of a "maybe I'll test while we're there...just in case" thing, but I really wasn't expecting to actually see a positive. Yesterday, however, I was obviously fertile. Everything was lining up perfectly, and we got our bd in. I generally see two days of HSO and EWCM, though, so really hoping today is my second day and we can one more "good" session in today at some point.

As far as I can tell, Hazen doesn't know I'm ovulating. He knows it's too early for me (ha!!!). It's best when he doesn't know...he doesn't do stress well. ;)

I'm a little annoyed with myself. I've already convinced myself that this cycle is IT. I mean, I never ovulate this early. Both times I've gotten pregnant, we've been on vacation. I ovulated at the perfect time when we conceived Ian, with almost a week beforehand of not being able to bd. This cycle is just following that pattern. and while I know I shouldn't get my hopes up (again), part of me also can't help but think a little positive thinking can't hurt. Right?