Thursday, May 27, 2010
Sigh
Looks like I have to reschedule my appointment. Will be lucky to be seen before July. I can't get a babysitter for Ian that I'm comfortable with, and the one I found can't take him because he is missing one form in his childcare packet for the base and his doctor won't sign it unless I have a specific appointment for that, despite the fact I've seen her twice this week. I'm going to wait until next week to reschedule in case by some miracle I manage to get him seen or find someone else to watch him...we will see I guess.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Waiting, waiting, waiting...
Cycle Day 20. Absolutely NO SIGN of an impending ovulation. Crummy CM, crummy CP, no ferning...na-da. I'm disappointed about this, obviously. It really stinks to be irregular and have no idea when/if you're going to ovulate. BUT I have found a plus side (there is always a plus side!):
I have a doctor's appointment in eight days with a doctor I have never seen before. I am seeing her on day 28, the day that is a "normal" cycle length according to a lot of doctors (silly, silly doctors...I would like to know if every female doctor seriously has a 28 day cycle?). I will, at most be 4 days past ovulation based on where I am now (nowhere). It will make a very good argument for me to push for testing, since I'd like all the typical bloodwork to be done and for Clomid or Femara or SOMETHING to help me ovulate a decent egg at a decent time.
I got my medical records from my past doctor. And I really like him, but one thing that annoyed me is that, based on me telling him my cycles ranged from 27-37 days in the year leading up to me originally seeing him, he deduced that I have a cycle that averages 32 days, and it's in my charts. That is not an average...I think that's a mean, if I'm remembering my algebra correctly? My average would be closer to the 37 day point when the number of 27, 28, 29 day cycles are added to the number of 35, 36, 37 day cycles...you know, when a REAL average is found. So I hate that "average of 32 days" is in my records when 32 is a perfectly acceptable cycle length (I would love that!). His nurse also put that we had tried for 18 months for Ian...we tried for 28. Oh well. I guess I'll just try and spit all this out in the 3 minutes I'll be allowed to talk with my new doctor.
I have a doctor's appointment in eight days with a doctor I have never seen before. I am seeing her on day 28, the day that is a "normal" cycle length according to a lot of doctors (silly, silly doctors...I would like to know if every female doctor seriously has a 28 day cycle?). I will, at most be 4 days past ovulation based on where I am now (nowhere). It will make a very good argument for me to push for testing, since I'd like all the typical bloodwork to be done and for Clomid or Femara or SOMETHING to help me ovulate a decent egg at a decent time.
I got my medical records from my past doctor. And I really like him, but one thing that annoyed me is that, based on me telling him my cycles ranged from 27-37 days in the year leading up to me originally seeing him, he deduced that I have a cycle that averages 32 days, and it's in my charts. That is not an average...I think that's a mean, if I'm remembering my algebra correctly? My average would be closer to the 37 day point when the number of 27, 28, 29 day cycles are added to the number of 35, 36, 37 day cycles...you know, when a REAL average is found. So I hate that "average of 32 days" is in my records when 32 is a perfectly acceptable cycle length (I would love that!). His nurse also put that we had tried for 18 months for Ian...we tried for 28. Oh well. I guess I'll just try and spit all this out in the 3 minutes I'll be allowed to talk with my new doctor.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Saliva Scope on the way!
I just ordered my saliva scope. I ordered the one with the highest reviews online and also got it on sale. After adding priority shipping (1-3 business days), my grand total was a whopping $33.90. Total score seeing as I spend that much in ONE CYCLE on OPKs, and I can use this over and over again.
Very excited to get it and start trying it out. Won't be temping this cycle, will just use the scope and track my CM and CP. Doctor's appointment on June 3...hoping to get myself some referrals.
Very excited to get it and start trying it out. Won't be temping this cycle, will just use the scope and track my CM and CP. Doctor's appointment on June 3...hoping to get myself some referrals.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Adoption
We've talked about adoption. It's something we would like to do in the future, when our kids are older. It's something I've considered may be the only way of expanding our family since, medically, I don't know how far I am willing to go to have another biological child.
Last night I had a dream that we adopted a brother and a sister. And today, I woke up with this incredible peace knowing that if that is the only way our family can expand, that's okay. I'll be okay. The point is not pregnancy and newborns, though I absolutely LOVED and miss those times, the point is a house full of happy, thriving children. How they get here really doesn't matter.
So I've spent time seriously researching adoption for the first time. We've talked about Africa and China, and so I looked more into that. The cost has been a big hindrance in our minds, but today I found out there are special loans available specifically to aide in adoption, and there is also a pretty large tax credit that would off-set a very large portion of the cost. So the money factor (or the lack of it) has become less important.
It's not something we're going to jump into today. For one thing, being in our current location for such a short amount of time really makes this not the ideal time. For another, I want Ian to always be my oldest child, but I don't want to set our age requirements so low. We are going to continue trying, I will go see my doctor this month like I'm supposed to, and we will decide how far we are willing to go. But if it doesn't happen, it doesn't feel like it will be the end of the world (at least not today!).
So, when we adopt in the future, I will be okay with it. If it happens years down the road after another biological baby or two, or if it happens fairly soon without anymore biological children, I'll be okay.
Last night I had a dream that we adopted a brother and a sister. And today, I woke up with this incredible peace knowing that if that is the only way our family can expand, that's okay. I'll be okay. The point is not pregnancy and newborns, though I absolutely LOVED and miss those times, the point is a house full of happy, thriving children. How they get here really doesn't matter.
So I've spent time seriously researching adoption for the first time. We've talked about Africa and China, and so I looked more into that. The cost has been a big hindrance in our minds, but today I found out there are special loans available specifically to aide in adoption, and there is also a pretty large tax credit that would off-set a very large portion of the cost. So the money factor (or the lack of it) has become less important.
It's not something we're going to jump into today. For one thing, being in our current location for such a short amount of time really makes this not the ideal time. For another, I want Ian to always be my oldest child, but I don't want to set our age requirements so low. We are going to continue trying, I will go see my doctor this month like I'm supposed to, and we will decide how far we are willing to go. But if it doesn't happen, it doesn't feel like it will be the end of the world (at least not today!).
So, when we adopt in the future, I will be okay with it. If it happens years down the road after another biological baby or two, or if it happens fairly soon without anymore biological children, I'll be okay.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Cycle 23, here we come!
Period finally showed today. Called and requested my medical records yesterday so should be receiving those soon. Will call next week to set up my annual exam and get my referal to OB to start testing again. Will likely go pick up a saliva scope tomorrow--supposedly Walgreens and CVS sell them. If not, I can order it online with free shipping.
I'm in a good mood--it's okay!
I'm in a good mood--it's okay!
Sure I'm out again
Test on Wednesday (12dpo) was negative. Temp took a nosedive yesterday and had some pinkish CM. Temp is still down today, so expect I will start today (thought I was going to yesterday but it didn't happen...this cycle is really enjoying messing with me).
Going to get a saliva scope when AF finally shows. Figure I'll spend $40 once rather than $13-$30 every cycle on OPKs since my ovulation varies so much. Gets very irritating to run out of OPKs and have to run for more! Trying to plan it so I only temp for a week or two this month. Going to start around day 14, then will temp until my three temps combined with the saliva scope ferning verify ovulation. Temping gets too obsessive sometimes.
Going to get a saliva scope when AF finally shows. Figure I'll spend $40 once rather than $13-$30 every cycle on OPKs since my ovulation varies so much. Gets very irritating to run out of OPKs and have to run for more! Trying to plan it so I only temp for a week or two this month. Going to start around day 14, then will temp until my three temps combined with the saliva scope ferning verify ovulation. Temping gets too obsessive sometimes.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Insensitive comment of the day
"Keep the faith ladies!", spoken by someone in a TTC buddy group who got her positive test on her SECOND cycle TTC. That's almost as bad as "Finally!! It took us three months!!"
Gah.
Gah.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Busted...
Hubby has found the blog and knows about my crazy escapades. Oops.
Yesterday pulled out my "big guns" and used a FRER despite my better judgement (temp PLUMMETED to 97.8)--negative. However, I had a little spotting that only lasted for one trip to the bathroom (TMI, I know), and my temp has recovered nicely today--98.6, the highest this cycle. If my period stays away and my temp is still up tomorrow, I may try my second test. Thinking about waiting until Thursday though.
Was so sure I was out yesterday, but now with the temp rise...hmm.
Yesterday pulled out my "big guns" and used a FRER despite my better judgement (temp PLUMMETED to 97.8)--negative. However, I had a little spotting that only lasted for one trip to the bathroom (TMI, I know), and my temp has recovered nicely today--98.6, the highest this cycle. If my period stays away and my temp is still up tomorrow, I may try my second test. Thinking about waiting until Thursday though.
Was so sure I was out yesterday, but now with the temp rise...hmm.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
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