Well...

I'm pregnant.






If you're a reader---PLEASE don't say anything outside of this blog. We won't be announcing to family until we hear the heartbeat. I am reeeeally early...like just over 3 weeks early.

8 DPO

I'm feeling really hopeful. I shouldn't be allowing myself to feel hopeful, but I can't seem to help it. I'm hopeful. The shift in my temperatures is the most obvious it has been in TWO YEARS. I ovulated on day 17--completely out of the realm of "normal" for me. Our timing couldn't have been any better. So...I'm hopeful.

I took a OPK on 5dpo because I'm obsessed with peeing on things and I had a couple left. I got a fairly dark line. So yesterday, 7dpo, I went ahead and peed on another one--another fairly dark line, slightly darker than the one on 5dpo. Progressing OPKs in the TWW can be a good thing, though I'm doing it way too early and probably looking too much into it.

Here are the OPKs--the top is 5dpo and the bottom is 7dpo. It's hard to see a difference in the picture, and the difference was more obvious when they were wet, but 7dpo is slightly darker (and I'm now out of OPKs, so this "experiment" has come to an end):



And here is yesterday's HPT that I took like a crazy person. Yes, it's negative:



So, my "symptoms". These are not things I've been looking for, but they've been unmistakable when they've happened. At 3dpo, I had very sharp and low cramping/pains off and on all day. It alternated from side to side, mostly on the right, but switching to the left enough to make me stop freaking out about an ectopic (my miscarriage was ruled a possible ectopic, so I get a little paranoid about them now). They were very low in my pelvis, like almost touching the tops of my legs is how low these pains were. They were also very sharp, taking my breath away a couple of times. They continued through part of 4dpo, then stopped and were replaced by some dull menstrual-like cramping. Nothing too uncomfortable, though, and the cramping is very minimal now.

The other just started today. This is TMI, but my boobs are pretty sore only around my nipples. I can't even explain the way it feels, though. It's like it's near the surface, but it also feels deeper at the same time. They don't hurt if I poke at them or anything, it's just like an internal pain. It's not something I remember feeling before. I'm hoping that new is good.

So, that's it. Hoping to hold out on testing for a few more days, but I know myself too well to think I'll actually do it. ;)

Very excited

My temp has been way up the last two days, which is so exciting. The shift on my chart is very obvious. Looking back over the last year or so, my shifts were pretty weak, if I even had one at all. I recently read something that said, while not guaranteed in any way, a nice rise after ovulation can be a good sign. If nothing else, it means I had a happy, healthy egg, and that's all I can really hope for, right? I will temp tomorrow morning and then the thermometer is going away for the rest of my cycle. I read too much into temps during the TWW and I am reeeeeeally trying to not stress myself out this time. My saliva scope has already been put on a break. I had no ferning yesterday and that's all I need to know.

On Saturday one of our pastors is coming to our small group to lay hands on those of us who are wishing to become pregnant. I am so excited to get just a little bit of an extra boost in the prayer department. Can't hurt. ;)

Ovulating!

Today is CD 17, and I'm 90% sure I either o'd late into the night yesterday/this morning or I will today (temp wasn't where it should be if I had o'd yesterday). I had a blazingly positive OPK on Friday CD 15 (shock of all shocks, I can't even tell you!):


and then two maaaaaaybe positive OPKs yesterday (top is 5:30pm, bottom is 8:30pm):


I generally have two positives, and o the day of the second. I was a little worried that yesterday would be o day because we bd'd on Friday, but my CM and CP weren't quite where I wanted them and, since we were on vacation, I didn't have my Preseed. As it was, the OPKs were brought as kind of a "maybe I'll test while we're there...just in case" thing, but I really wasn't expecting to actually see a positive. Yesterday, however, I was obviously fertile. Everything was lining up perfectly, and we got our bd in. I generally see two days of HSO and EWCM, though, so really hoping today is my second day and we can one more "good" session in today at some point.

As far as I can tell, Hazen doesn't know I'm ovulating. He knows it's too early for me (ha!!!). It's best when he doesn't know...he doesn't do stress well. ;)

I'm a little annoyed with myself. I've already convinced myself that this cycle is IT. I mean, I never ovulate this early. Both times I've gotten pregnant, we've been on vacation. I ovulated at the perfect time when we conceived Ian, with almost a week beforehand of not being able to bd. This cycle is just following that pattern. and while I know I shouldn't get my hopes up (again), part of me also can't help but think a little positive thinking can't hurt. Right?

And onto the next cycle

I don't even know what number we're on anymore. 22? 24? Who knows?

I'm pretty sure the last one was annovulatory. It was 42 days long, confusing, and just miserable. Of course, the day my period arrives I get a call back from the referral people. It's gone through, they have it, but there are no appointments available right now. They will call me when something opens up...in July or August. Yaaaaaay me.

So now we wait. For this period and the cramps to end (they are worsening again...feeling concerned that the endo is on it's way back after 9 1/2 months), and for an appointment to become available. Sigh.

18? 29? 31? 35? 26?

Those are all the days I have managed to get crosshairs for this cycle. I think I'm just gonna call it quits for this cycle...stop temping, stop playin with my spit. My only fertile signs of the entire cycle were around day 26 so if ANY of those are right, I think day 26 would be it. But the signs weren't nearly as obvious as usual, which really makes me doubt it. And obviously my shift wasn't super clear or all those other days would have never been in the running.

If day 26 is right, though, I am 13dpo. My lp is normally 12 days. Guess we'll see what happens over the next couple of days. ;)

The saliva scope

This thing is kind of complicated. Oftentimes when I wake up, my mouth is kind of dry and cottony. If I put dry, cottony spit on the thing, it just really doesn't work well. If I put too much saliva on it, I also end up with a mess. So I have to find the right balance of when I've been awake for a little bit and my mouth has rehydrated, but I still haven't had anything to eat and drink, and also make sure I get enough on there but not TOO much. And of course I've already dropped the little lens part a few times and now it's cracked. Thankfully the crack is on an edge and I can't even see it when I'm looking through it. Using it for one cycle would defeat the purpose since I bought it in an attempt to save money on OPKs.

More partial ferning today--looks good! My temp was down a bit today, and my chart has now moved my crosshairs to day 31 which I know is still not right. I'm hoping my signs continue to improve and that I have a clear shift in the next few days.

If things stay so completely unpredictable and my period still hasn't come, I think I'll go ahead and take a test around day 50 (I'm on day 38 now). I definitely don't think that could be considered testing "too early". ;)