Cycle Day 21

And I am still waiting to ovulate. I get so annoyed at having long cycles. I still haven't made my appointment with my PCM either...I really need to get on that. It's hard to schedule these appointments. I don't want an annual to interfere with my ovulating (that goo they use is not very TTC friendly!) and I also don't ever know exactly when to expect my period. It really stinks to get it scheduled and have to call and re-schedule! Oh well.

My OPKs are still as negative as negative gets. My CM and CP are starting to do more exciting things, though, so I'm hopeful for a positive or almost positive today. I've been using the Preseed and I hope it is helping. I just hope to ovulate before I run out!

I've been thinking about trying to get pregnant with Ian a lot lately. It took 22 months of me being off birth control to get pregnant with our miscarriage. It took another 6 months of active trying to get pregnant with Ian. I feel like we are behind this time around. I know I can't compare the two, but we have been ACTIVELY trying since October 2008...that's 18 months! And there were about 5 months before that of if it happens it happens.

I know that combined Hazen and I have problems, but those problems aren't so big that we shouldn't be able to get pregnant. Granted it will take a *little* longer, but it should still happen. My tube is open, my endo is cauterized. His swimmers are lazy and the liquefaction is an issue, but none of these problems are THAT big. I don't know. I guess I'm just putting too much hope into the Preseed being our "cure". I've been putting off more invasive treatments because I just don't want to go that route. But I don't know how much longer I'm willing to go without a pregnancy either.

Ugh...if I would just ovulate I think I would feel more cheerful!

I'm baaaack!

Not much to report on the TTC front. We are still not pregnant. Still trying. That's about it!

We had a one cycle, forced break while Hazen was in Texas in January. That was kind of nice--no tests, no temperatures, just not thinking about it. In February I went to visit him the week I ovulated...no luck. I think with moving March was anovulatory. I don't have any real way to prove that since I wasn't really tracking my cycle, but my cervix didn't do what it normally does after ovulation. My period was also very light, with one full day of light flow, and four days of on and off spotting. It was weird, but also kind of helps my theory that I didn't ovulate that cycle.

THIS month, we are trying Preseed for the first time, but Hazen doesn't know it. It's a sperm friendly lubricant, the only one that is allowed to say it's safe for TTC. We are trying it because with Hazen's liquefaction and motility problems, the better my fluids, the better chance his healthy sperm have of getting where they need to go. So I'm going to use it when I start to show some fertile signs without telling my dear husband. I've heard of other husbands claiming they don't like it when they know about it, but having no complaints when they don't know it's there. Don't want to add any mind games to my poor hubby!

I'm also using OPKs and charting again, but leaving Hazen completely in the dark on those results. As of yesterday, CD 13, OPKs were negative but that is no surprise considering I don't expect to ovulate for at least another 4-7 days.

I will be making an appointment with my new PCM this month. It's time for my annual anyway, and I will ask for a referral to OB then.

So that's where we are. Just moving along...

TTC on hold

Well, we are on hold for 2 months. Hazen leaves for training in Texas on Monday, cycle day 10. There is absolutely no way I'll be ovulating anywhere near there, so this month is out. He will be gone until March 10 or 11. We will both be on supplements (Fertilaid) and I will undergo testing for PCOS. That is about all we can do while we wait.

Hopefully we have a reunion baby. We got pregnant with our miscarriage right after a deployment (deployment babies are very common!). :)

OPK, OPK, OPK

I'm on my fourth straight day of positive OPKs. I usually get two positives--the day before and the day of o. I think my o day was Sunday based on my CM and CP, but here it is Tuesday and my darn tests are still blazingly positive (MUCH more positive than the set of tests I posted before. Now I know how these tests look when they're positive!).

It's so typical that weird things would happen when I decide to put the thermometer away for a cycle. ;)

Annoying signs!!!

I decided not to temp this cycle. I really stress myself out. So I thought I'd get some OPKs to help me determine when I ovulate, just so I have some idea. Turns out, that might be more stressful than just not knowing. They have all been almost positive!! How does that happen??

These were taken (in order) on day 10 at 12:30pm, day 11 at 12:30pm, day 12 at 11:30am and 3:30pm, and day 13 at 12:30pm and 7pm.



My CM and CP were fertile on days 11 and 12, and now everything is closed and dried up (wow, TMI) as if I've already o'd. But I haven't had a blazingly positive OPK.

I've never used this brand before, so I guess I'm just learning how they work for me. But I have to say this is annoying.

Okay, done with the pity party!

The day I got the semen analysis results, I was pretty upset. But I'm okay now. It's fine. :)

I took the soy on days 1-5, like I planned, and lowered the dose from 160mg to 120mg. I'm taking Mucinex every 4 hours, and it seems to be helping with the CM. I want to try Preseed, a lubricant that is supposed to be sperm friendly and help out if you don't have much, but we don't have a nearby store that carries it, so I would have to order it. I'm hoping for an early-ish ovulation since I took the soy, and my OPKs are already almost positive. So I'm not going to attempt to order something that I can't be sure will make it here on time. If we don't get pregnant this cycle, Hazen is going to Texas for two months, so I will spend that time getting our referrals and ordering Preseed and fun things like that. It will work out. :)

Hazen is taking his supplements and will continue to do so while he's in Texas. I'm taking all my vitamins and doing what I'm supposed to also. We won't be able to go to Missoula. There is no way I'm abstaining while I'm possibly fertile (no sex allowed for 2-7 days before a S/A) and after that we'll be moving and changing doctors and everything anyway. So we'll have to pay for one when in a couple of months when he gets back in. No biggie.

Just gotta stay optimistic. :)

Repeat S/A came back

And the results aren't good. :( His count and everything is up (yay!) but his motility is still really low--41%. "Normal" is between 40-100 with 50% or higher being preferred. His liquefaction is also not normal. It should turn to a liquid state within 30 minutes, and his doesn't do that. So we have to go to Missoula (about 100 miles away) and have a more thorough test done.

So, I'm going to have us try a couple of things. Both of us are going to take Robitussin. It can help thin out my mucus around ovulation a little more so that if his little swimmers can make it to my CM, then the fact that his semen doesn't liquify won't be a big deal. He can take Robitussin to help thin his semen a little bit as well, which will hopefully help his little guys swim a little better. He's also going to take L-Carnitine and Zinc supplements.

That's all we can do. I don't know what else to try. IUI isn't an option right now, we can't afford it. I just can't believe this has been so hard. There are all sorts of questionable people that can get knocked up over and over again. And I can't. I don't understand it sometimes. I know there must be a reason, but sometimes it's hard to remember that.