I originally started this blog because I didn't want to share all the TMI details of infertility on my family blog. Then I got pregnant, and it seemed like a good place to talk about the TMI details of pregnancy. But now I'm the mommy of a 4 1/2 year old and a 7 week old, and it seems very silly to have two blogs (both of which I am veeeeeery behind on!) talking about two kids. I'd rather put all our goings on in one place.
I'm not thrilled with my other blog, so I think I'm going to "start over" and create an all new one. I'll keep both of my others, and have them linked for easy access, but I feel like I need to create a new one to start it in the direction I want it to go in the first place.
So, the new blog: http://noblemommy.blogspot.com/
Monday, May 16, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
10 days old
I will get pictures up. I will, I will, I will. Though if it doesn't happen today, it's going to be quite a while since we are losing our internet tomorrow when our packers come. Sigh.
It's been such a fast week and a half! I can't believe how much she changes everyday. She's alert for up to two hours at a time now. It's really cute and fun in the mornings...not so much at 1am. She was down to 6lbs 15oz at her 48 hour appointment, but by weighing her at home she is well over 8lbs now. It will be interesting to see what she weighs at her two-week appointment next week!
She is a champion nurser and that is ALL SHE WANTS TO DO. If she is awake, she is attached to me. And something about a diaper change gets her appetite going. Last night she was "talking" for quite awhile when she was supposed to be sleeping. She decided she didn't like the pitch dark that our room is usually in and woke every five minutes when the night light was out. Once I turned it on, she went back to sleep. I don't know why the sudden change, it hadn't been an issue before.
Cloth diapering is going really well. It's so easy and they are just so stinking cute. The only issue I've had is while out and about. I haven't figured out my system for that yet, and I end up with my hands very full and not able to fit everything back in my bag. Plus, I'm using disposable wipes when out, so remembering to toss those instead of folding them in the diaper is a challenge, too. I have wipe that needs to be picked out of some velcro right now. The packers are taking away our washer and dryer tomorrow, so I'm going to try and use a laundromat. I'm hoping it's not as challenging in reality as it feels like it will be in my head.
It's been such a fast week and a half! I can't believe how much she changes everyday. She's alert for up to two hours at a time now. It's really cute and fun in the mornings...not so much at 1am. She was down to 6lbs 15oz at her 48 hour appointment, but by weighing her at home she is well over 8lbs now. It will be interesting to see what she weighs at her two-week appointment next week!
She is a champion nurser and that is ALL SHE WANTS TO DO. If she is awake, she is attached to me. And something about a diaper change gets her appetite going. Last night she was "talking" for quite awhile when she was supposed to be sleeping. She decided she didn't like the pitch dark that our room is usually in and woke every five minutes when the night light was out. Once I turned it on, she went back to sleep. I don't know why the sudden change, it hadn't been an issue before.
Cloth diapering is going really well. It's so easy and they are just so stinking cute. The only issue I've had is while out and about. I haven't figured out my system for that yet, and I end up with my hands very full and not able to fit everything back in my bag. Plus, I'm using disposable wipes when out, so remembering to toss those instead of folding them in the diaper is a challenge, too. I have wipe that needs to be picked out of some velcro right now. The packers are taking away our washer and dryer tomorrow, so I'm going to try and use a laundromat. I'm hoping it's not as challenging in reality as it feels like it will be in my head.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Teagan Ella has arrived!
Our baby girl is here! Here is her birth story...pictures to follow once we get more settled!
From the time I went to bed Saturday night (March 26) I was having some painful contractions that were waking me up. I was so tired, that I just kept noticing them as more of an irritant and inconvenience and then falling right back to sleep. Around 2am, they started to get more painful and more frequent. At first I thought "What is going on?? Why won't this stop??" and then I finally woke up enough to realize I was probably in the beginnings of labor. I got out of bed so I wouldn't disturb Hazen (I was too wound to sleep once I realized what was going on anyway), and just relaxed on the computer and watching TV. In that time, I had a couple of loose BMs and realized we would probably be meeting our baby girl that day.
At that point, I decided I should try to get some sleep. Since I was hoping to go without an epidural, I knew there would be no chance to rest once labor really hit. I took a nice hot shower, and then I laid back down around 5am and managed to doze between contractions, which were about every 8 minutes at that point. Finally around 8, I decided it was time to get everyone out of bed, call our friend who was watching Ian, and start getting ready to head to the hospital. We got everyone fed (I just had some fruit, water, whole wheat toast, and a yogurt so as not to upset my stomach), loaded up the car, and headed out to drop Ian off. The contractions were about every 3-4 minutes in the car, and it was SO HARD to get comfortable during them while sitting upright.
We got to the hospital around 9:30, I was hooked up to the monitors, and right away the contractions started to slow down. They were registering as pretty powerful, but they were few and far between. The midwife came to check me then, and I was 4cm and 100% effaced. Baby was at 0 station. On Wednesday (I had an episode of "false" labor) I was checked and told I was 2cm, 50%, and at +2, so this was a definite improvement. I told her my wishes to NOT have the epidural, so she sent me on a walk for a few hours. If I'd wanted drugs, she would have admitted me then, but she wanted me to be able to get my body working the way it needed to before admitting me as an epidural-refusing patient.
Around 1pm we returned to the hospital. At that point I was 5cm, 100% effaced and was admitted. I walked the halls, found comfortable positions on the bed, and just got myself as relaxed as I could. Around 4, the contractions started to become extremely painful and more regular. The pressure when I was standing was intense, and it felt like she was about to come out. I was checked and was 7cm and -1 station. The midwife and my nurse suggested some positions to help me get the baby to come lower and put pressure on my cervix, and OH MAN did those positions put pressure on me! It was so unbearable that I couldn't do it for very long and had to half lie/half sit on the bed to get through the contractions. It slowed the contractions down, but when they came they hit HARD.
At 6 I started swearing and telling Hazen to call the nurse, I wanted the epidural. He asked me repeatedly if I was sure, then called the nurse for me. The nurse came in and also asked me several times if I was sure. I remember her saying "I don't want you to be upset about it tomorrow. You've made it so far." I told her I was sure, I just wanted it...and then I said "Well, can you check me first?", knowing I would have been very angry at myself if I got to the end and then wanted one. She agreed, but before she could the anesthesiologist came to the door. She and the midwife told him I wouldn't be needing him (they could tell by the sounds I was making that I was close). They checked me and I was still only at an 8, but I was completely losing my resolve at that point. They broke my water for me at that point, thinking that it would likely cause the baby to come very quickly. I wanted everything to stop, I didn't want to do it anymore, I was DONE. I think my midwife knew that I was doubting myself, so she had me try a few different positions, like all-fours and squatting. I felt so badly like I needed to push, but I knew it was too early. My midwife told me to push enough to get the edge off, so I did. Before long, I was screaming, and pushing, and really not myself at all. She told me I could push through the contractions, that it being my second baby my cervix didn't have to be completely dilated. When I was contracting and pushing, there was only a tiny lip of cervix left around baby's head that she could push away.
Once the pushing started, I knew I had to just do it. It hurt so much, and the infamous "ring of fire" is no joke! I was so afraid that if I stopped, that would be it. I wouldn't be able to finish. The motivation to push when there are no pain meds is amazing. It hurts so unbelievably to do it, but you logically know that the only way to get through the pain is to push through it. So even though it hurt more than anything I have ever done in my life, I pushed and I pushed until I could feel her come out. It was amazing looking down and seeing her tiny little body right there. I gave one final small push and out she came! I only pushed for 13 minutes, and Teagan Ella was born at 7:03pm (less than an hour after I started begging for my epidural) weighing 7lbs, 9oz and 20 1/2 inches long.
It turns out that the little miss was a "Full OP" meaning completely posterior aka "sunny side up". I didn't fully understand what that meant, but all of the nurses and the midwife were talking very excitedly about it and talking about how amazing it was that I did it drug free, without tearing (I had two "skid marks" but they don't even burn when I pee), and with only 13 minutes of pushing. After doing research, posterior babies tend to cause longer labors (17 hours for me), more often require Pitocin to stimulate contractions (my contractions were sometimes pretty spaced out), take longer to push out, and have more risk of tearing/episiotomy. Back labor is also suspected to be more common, which I did have. The back pain was completely cancelled out by the extreme pressure at the end, though! It made me feel better finding out that I had a difficult positioned baby. For one, I didn't think I'd ever try a natural birth again. Now, knowing that it was harder than the next probably will be (if there is a next), I may just give it another go. Also, I watched natural births online. I read stories of people's natural births. I read books. I had an image in my head of how mine would be (and how I would behave during it!) and let's just say that my birth is not probably one that should be viewed by anyone considering going without the epidural! I'm pretty sure I would have swayed several to go the other way.
She has been a fantastic nurser from only a few minutes old. Her latch is flawfless, and she is pretty easy to convince to eat. As of yet (two days) I don't have to use the mean tricks I used with Ian (cold washcloths, for one) to convince her to wake enough to eat. Sometimes she falls asleep during a feed, but she usually goes long enough that I don't worry about it and I just know that she will be ready to eat a little sooner than usual next time. It hasn't been a big deal, and the more often we nurse, the quicker my milk will come in. Going to bed last night, 24 hours after her birth, my breasts were already becoming engorged. I don't have my fully mature milk yet, but it's definitely not just colostrum anymore.
Overall, it was a great experience. It was fantastic going into labor on my own--so exciting! And it does feel really good to look back and know that my body was fully capable of delivering her without intervention or pain-relief and that, for the most part, I was mentally able to do it, too. And recovery was so easy--no waiting to walk or use the bathroom, no catheters, no bedpans, I was able to eat immediately afterwards which was great.
She looks exactly like her big brother did at birth (though a bit smaller!). It's unreal!
From the time I went to bed Saturday night (March 26) I was having some painful contractions that were waking me up. I was so tired, that I just kept noticing them as more of an irritant and inconvenience and then falling right back to sleep. Around 2am, they started to get more painful and more frequent. At first I thought "What is going on?? Why won't this stop??" and then I finally woke up enough to realize I was probably in the beginnings of labor. I got out of bed so I wouldn't disturb Hazen (I was too wound to sleep once I realized what was going on anyway), and just relaxed on the computer and watching TV. In that time, I had a couple of loose BMs and realized we would probably be meeting our baby girl that day.
At that point, I decided I should try to get some sleep. Since I was hoping to go without an epidural, I knew there would be no chance to rest once labor really hit. I took a nice hot shower, and then I laid back down around 5am and managed to doze between contractions, which were about every 8 minutes at that point. Finally around 8, I decided it was time to get everyone out of bed, call our friend who was watching Ian, and start getting ready to head to the hospital. We got everyone fed (I just had some fruit, water, whole wheat toast, and a yogurt so as not to upset my stomach), loaded up the car, and headed out to drop Ian off. The contractions were about every 3-4 minutes in the car, and it was SO HARD to get comfortable during them while sitting upright.
We got to the hospital around 9:30, I was hooked up to the monitors, and right away the contractions started to slow down. They were registering as pretty powerful, but they were few and far between. The midwife came to check me then, and I was 4cm and 100% effaced. Baby was at 0 station. On Wednesday (I had an episode of "false" labor) I was checked and told I was 2cm, 50%, and at +2, so this was a definite improvement. I told her my wishes to NOT have the epidural, so she sent me on a walk for a few hours. If I'd wanted drugs, she would have admitted me then, but she wanted me to be able to get my body working the way it needed to before admitting me as an epidural-refusing patient.
Around 1pm we returned to the hospital. At that point I was 5cm, 100% effaced and was admitted. I walked the halls, found comfortable positions on the bed, and just got myself as relaxed as I could. Around 4, the contractions started to become extremely painful and more regular. The pressure when I was standing was intense, and it felt like she was about to come out. I was checked and was 7cm and -1 station. The midwife and my nurse suggested some positions to help me get the baby to come lower and put pressure on my cervix, and OH MAN did those positions put pressure on me! It was so unbearable that I couldn't do it for very long and had to half lie/half sit on the bed to get through the contractions. It slowed the contractions down, but when they came they hit HARD.
At 6 I started swearing and telling Hazen to call the nurse, I wanted the epidural. He asked me repeatedly if I was sure, then called the nurse for me. The nurse came in and also asked me several times if I was sure. I remember her saying "I don't want you to be upset about it tomorrow. You've made it so far." I told her I was sure, I just wanted it...and then I said "Well, can you check me first?", knowing I would have been very angry at myself if I got to the end and then wanted one. She agreed, but before she could the anesthesiologist came to the door. She and the midwife told him I wouldn't be needing him (they could tell by the sounds I was making that I was close). They checked me and I was still only at an 8, but I was completely losing my resolve at that point. They broke my water for me at that point, thinking that it would likely cause the baby to come very quickly. I wanted everything to stop, I didn't want to do it anymore, I was DONE. I think my midwife knew that I was doubting myself, so she had me try a few different positions, like all-fours and squatting. I felt so badly like I needed to push, but I knew it was too early. My midwife told me to push enough to get the edge off, so I did. Before long, I was screaming, and pushing, and really not myself at all. She told me I could push through the contractions, that it being my second baby my cervix didn't have to be completely dilated. When I was contracting and pushing, there was only a tiny lip of cervix left around baby's head that she could push away.
Once the pushing started, I knew I had to just do it. It hurt so much, and the infamous "ring of fire" is no joke! I was so afraid that if I stopped, that would be it. I wouldn't be able to finish. The motivation to push when there are no pain meds is amazing. It hurts so unbelievably to do it, but you logically know that the only way to get through the pain is to push through it. So even though it hurt more than anything I have ever done in my life, I pushed and I pushed until I could feel her come out. It was amazing looking down and seeing her tiny little body right there. I gave one final small push and out she came! I only pushed for 13 minutes, and Teagan Ella was born at 7:03pm (less than an hour after I started begging for my epidural) weighing 7lbs, 9oz and 20 1/2 inches long.
It turns out that the little miss was a "Full OP" meaning completely posterior aka "sunny side up". I didn't fully understand what that meant, but all of the nurses and the midwife were talking very excitedly about it and talking about how amazing it was that I did it drug free, without tearing (I had two "skid marks" but they don't even burn when I pee), and with only 13 minutes of pushing. After doing research, posterior babies tend to cause longer labors (17 hours for me), more often require Pitocin to stimulate contractions (my contractions were sometimes pretty spaced out), take longer to push out, and have more risk of tearing/episiotomy. Back labor is also suspected to be more common, which I did have. The back pain was completely cancelled out by the extreme pressure at the end, though! It made me feel better finding out that I had a difficult positioned baby. For one, I didn't think I'd ever try a natural birth again. Now, knowing that it was harder than the next probably will be (if there is a next), I may just give it another go. Also, I watched natural births online. I read stories of people's natural births. I read books. I had an image in my head of how mine would be (and how I would behave during it!) and let's just say that my birth is not probably one that should be viewed by anyone considering going without the epidural! I'm pretty sure I would have swayed several to go the other way.
She has been a fantastic nurser from only a few minutes old. Her latch is flawfless, and she is pretty easy to convince to eat. As of yet (two days) I don't have to use the mean tricks I used with Ian (cold washcloths, for one) to convince her to wake enough to eat. Sometimes she falls asleep during a feed, but she usually goes long enough that I don't worry about it and I just know that she will be ready to eat a little sooner than usual next time. It hasn't been a big deal, and the more often we nurse, the quicker my milk will come in. Going to bed last night, 24 hours after her birth, my breasts were already becoming engorged. I don't have my fully mature milk yet, but it's definitely not just colostrum anymore.
Overall, it was a great experience. It was fantastic going into labor on my own--so exciting! And it does feel really good to look back and know that my body was fully capable of delivering her without intervention or pain-relief and that, for the most part, I was mentally able to do it, too. And recovery was so easy--no waiting to walk or use the bathroom, no catheters, no bedpans, I was able to eat immediately afterwards which was great.
She looks exactly like her big brother did at birth (though a bit smaller!). It's unreal!
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Aaaaand...
I'm "overdue". Okay, maybe not REALLY, the average pregnancy is 38-42 weeks. But it still sucks to wake up pregnant on March 26 when you were "due" on March 25.
Oh well...just hoping she comes before Tuesday. I really don't want to schedule that induction.
Oh well...just hoping she comes before Tuesday. I really don't want to schedule that induction.
Friday, March 25, 2011
40 weeks!
Today is my "due date", but I don't think anyone bothered to inform the Little Miss of that fact.
I honestly still feel good. I enjoy being pregnant. Sleep sucks (but I know it's going to get worse, so I don't dwell on that!), peeing every 20 minutes sucks, rib and leg pain sucks, contractions that like to tease me suck. But overall, I really don't have it bad. Most of the pain is manageable. I can control the rib pain by leaning over my ball and rolling. The legs are fine as long as I'm sure to eat well during the day. The contractions are just getting me ready for the tough job that is coming. And there is only so much longer I get my baby completely and totally to myself.
Downsides: I wonder how big she is going to get. I haven't had any weight estimates done on her, which is fine, but her big brother was 8lbs at 39 weeks, 4 days. I feel that she is smaller, but I really don't know. And everyday is another day of growth for her (good for her, scary for mommy!). And, the most upsetting part, is that my stretchmark from Ian has started to grow and turn red. I know, I know, so what. But I enjoy my bikinis. And I made it 39 weeks without a single stretchmark (my boobs, rear, and thighs are all also unscathed...at least from this pregnancy...). So the sooner she comes out, the sooner that thing can stop it's growth.
I'm still having a hard time recognizing that I will have TWO children. Every night I give in and read "one more story" because I don't know if that will be the last night that I can cuddle with just my little man reading him his bedtime stories. I cave and go to the park more than I feel like because, again, I don't know if it's going to be the last time. Every weekend for the last few weeks I've wanted to take him somewhere because "it might be the last time as a family of three". I know we'll all adjust, and I know baby girl is going to fit into our family as seamlessly as Ian did, but knowing how much it's possible to love a little person makes it that much harder to believe that another little person can take the same amount of love from you without lessening it for the other one...if that makes sense. It's hard to be a hormonal, pregnant mommy sometimes...somedays I'm just sad and feel like I'm ruining my little boy's entire world, which I know is silly even when I think about it. Last night he helped me put away clothes for "baby sister" and he did it so happily and willingly (he put socks in with the diapers because he decided that was the best spot for them; they are still there because he was just too darn cute while he was doing it).
Soon enough the little girl will be here. And soon enough we'll all adjust and be fine.
I honestly still feel good. I enjoy being pregnant. Sleep sucks (but I know it's going to get worse, so I don't dwell on that!), peeing every 20 minutes sucks, rib and leg pain sucks, contractions that like to tease me suck. But overall, I really don't have it bad. Most of the pain is manageable. I can control the rib pain by leaning over my ball and rolling. The legs are fine as long as I'm sure to eat well during the day. The contractions are just getting me ready for the tough job that is coming. And there is only so much longer I get my baby completely and totally to myself.
Downsides: I wonder how big she is going to get. I haven't had any weight estimates done on her, which is fine, but her big brother was 8lbs at 39 weeks, 4 days. I feel that she is smaller, but I really don't know. And everyday is another day of growth for her (good for her, scary for mommy!). And, the most upsetting part, is that my stretchmark from Ian has started to grow and turn red. I know, I know, so what. But I enjoy my bikinis. And I made it 39 weeks without a single stretchmark (my boobs, rear, and thighs are all also unscathed...at least from this pregnancy...). So the sooner she comes out, the sooner that thing can stop it's growth.
I'm still having a hard time recognizing that I will have TWO children. Every night I give in and read "one more story" because I don't know if that will be the last night that I can cuddle with just my little man reading him his bedtime stories. I cave and go to the park more than I feel like because, again, I don't know if it's going to be the last time. Every weekend for the last few weeks I've wanted to take him somewhere because "it might be the last time as a family of three". I know we'll all adjust, and I know baby girl is going to fit into our family as seamlessly as Ian did, but knowing how much it's possible to love a little person makes it that much harder to believe that another little person can take the same amount of love from you without lessening it for the other one...if that makes sense. It's hard to be a hormonal, pregnant mommy sometimes...somedays I'm just sad and feel like I'm ruining my little boy's entire world, which I know is silly even when I think about it. Last night he helped me put away clothes for "baby sister" and he did it so happily and willingly (he put socks in with the diapers because he decided that was the best spot for them; they are still there because he was just too darn cute while he was doing it).
Soon enough the little girl will be here. And soon enough we'll all adjust and be fine.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Eventful evening
Yesterday I was bouncing on my ball when I suddenly started to feel a lot of pain and pressure that wasn't really letting up. I told Hazen we needed to go for a walk, so we all got ready and headed out for a short walk (I was in a bit of pain, so I cut it down from our normal 2-miler). Almost immediately, painful contractions started coming. They were starting low in my pelvis, then moving up through my entire abdomen and finishing in my back. They were right about two minutes apart and were all lasting well over a minute. We sat on a bench at the park to see if they would continue (they always stop if I change what I'm doing) and they kept right up through the sitting. We slowly made our way home, still painfully contracting every couple of minutes, and I went ahead and called our friend who will watch Ian on the big day to let her know what was going on. I decided to take a shower to see if that would stop the contractions, and it didn't. At that point, I had been feeling the pain and pressure for over two hours, so we decided to head into labor and delivery.
Between my friend's house and labor and delivery, the contractions started to space out and get less intense. I had a feeling I was going to be sent home. I got hooked up to the monitors, and I was having some strong contractions but they were far apart and getting shorter. The CNM came in to check me, and he decided that my midwife's 3cm and 80% effaced was closer to a 2cm and 50% effaced--I was sooo not happy to hear that! He was very young, so I'm sticking to my midwife's assessment...I liked hers better. :p
So I was sent home. The contractions have stopped, and now we're back to just waiting.
On the plus side, it looks like we have a place to live in Texas and we don't close on that until May 1. So we don't have to worry about being homeless and it's okay if she comes a little late because we have a little extra time to get down there anyway.
Between my friend's house and labor and delivery, the contractions started to space out and get less intense. I had a feeling I was going to be sent home. I got hooked up to the monitors, and I was having some strong contractions but they were far apart and getting shorter. The CNM came in to check me, and he decided that my midwife's 3cm and 80% effaced was closer to a 2cm and 50% effaced--I was sooo not happy to hear that! He was very young, so I'm sticking to my midwife's assessment...I liked hers better. :p
So I was sent home. The contractions have stopped, and now we're back to just waiting.
On the plus side, it looks like we have a place to live in Texas and we don't close on that until May 1. So we don't have to worry about being homeless and it's okay if she comes a little late because we have a little extra time to get down there anyway.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
39 week appointment
I had my appointment yesterday at 39 weeks, 4 days. Nothing too exciting to report--I am now 3cm and 80% effaced. Ms. S said I am progressing nicely, so that was nice to hear. I have my next appointment at 40 weeks, 4 days and we will get my induction on the books if I make it to that appointment...sigh. Ms. S says she doesn't expect to see me next week, though, so fingers crossed!
I had a lot of painful contractions after my appointment. We took a walk and they were coming every 2-3 minutes. Sitting down, they slowed to 5-6 minutes and were less painful. I had contractions all through the night, some woke me up. And this morning I woke up with a loose BM (sorry for the TMI) so I'm really hoping my body is gearing up to go into labor in the next day or two.
I'm going to spend most of the day relaxing and being careful to fill up on healthy, easy to digest foods. The kiddo and I are going to head out for a nice long walk this morning and hopefully we can get things moving along.
I had a lot of painful contractions after my appointment. We took a walk and they were coming every 2-3 minutes. Sitting down, they slowed to 5-6 minutes and were less painful. I had contractions all through the night, some woke me up. And this morning I woke up with a loose BM (sorry for the TMI) so I'm really hoping my body is gearing up to go into labor in the next day or two.
I'm going to spend most of the day relaxing and being careful to fill up on healthy, easy to digest foods. The kiddo and I are going to head out for a nice long walk this morning and hopefully we can get things moving along.
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